What to do if your Ex is Drinking too much Alcohol while they have the Children
By: Andy Scholz and Heather Rooney McBride
Alcohol consumption is prevalent in the United States. According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) conducted in 2019, approximately 85.6% of adults ages 18 or older reported that they had consumed alcohol at some point in their lifetime, and 69.5% reported that they had consumed alcohol within the past year.
In terms of binge drinking (defined as consuming 5 or more drinks on the same occasion on at least 1 day in the past 30 days), approximately 25.5% of adults reported binge drinking in the past month, and 6.3% reported heavy alcohol use (defined as binge drinking on 5 or more days in the past month) in the same time frame.
The consumption of alcohol can negatively impact a person’s ability to parent a child in several ways: Alcohol can hinder the ability to make sound decisions and judgments for the child’s well-being. Drinking alcohol can also increase risk-taking behavior, which can put the child in danger; for example, a parent who is under the influence of alcohol may be more likely to engage in reckless driving, neglectful behavior, or other actions that could endanger the child. Alcohol use can also increase the likelihood of physical and emotional abuse toward a child; a parent who is under the influence of alcohol may have reduced inhibitions and may be more likely to engage in aggressive or abusive behavior towards their child. Alcohol use can also impair a parent’s ability to provide adequate care for the child; for example, a parent who is under the influence of alcohol may forget to feed the child or may fail to provide proper supervision.
Oftentimes, we hear parents say, “Yeah, my ex is drinking too much, but there is no way to prove it.” With the assistance of technology, professionals and observation, however, it is possible to more quickly prove to a court that a person is drinking too much.
There are several ways to test if your ex-spouse is drinking while he or she has custody of the children. If you have regular contact with your ex-spouse, you can observe their behavior for signs of alcohol use; look for slurred speech, unsteady gait, glassy eyes, or other signs of intoxication. If your ex has friends or family that have a common interest in protecting the children, you can also ask them if they have seen or smelled alcohol on the other parent.
A breathalyzer is a device that measures a person’s blood alcohol content (BAC) through their breath. You can purchase a personal breathalyzer to test your ex-spouse’s BAC when they drop off or pick up the children. Family law courts are often willing to order alcohol testing if there is an agreement as to who will pay for the device. You can also hire a private investigator to observe the other parent’s behavior and collect evidence. However, it is important to note that this can be expensive and may not be a necessary measure in all cases.
If you are concerned that your ex-spouse is drinking too much while they have your children, it is important to take action to ensure the safety and well-being of your children. Here are some steps you can take:
- Talk to your ex-spouse: Talk to your ex-spouse and express your concerns. Let them know that you are worried about the safety of your children and that you want to work together to ensure that they are protected.
- Document your concerns: Keep a record of any incidents that you witness or hear about from your children. Write down dates, times, and details of the incidents, and keep any emails, text messages, or other communication that you have with your ex-spouse about the issue.
- Contact Child Protective Services: If you believe that your children are in immediate danger, contact your local Child Protective Services (CPS) agency or the police. They can investigate the situation and take action to protect your children, if necessary.
- Consider mediation: Mediation is a process where a neutral third party helps both parties come to a mutually acceptable resolution. It can be a good option if you and your ex-spouse are willing to work together to resolve the issue.
- Seek legal advice: Consult with a family law attorney to understand your legal options. He or she can help you navigate the court system and explore the possibility of your current modifying custody or visitation arrangements.
Remember that the safety and well-being of your children should be your top priority. If you are divorced or separated, and you are concerned about the safety of your children, take action to protect them. The attorneys at Rooney McBride and Smith, LLC, are experienced in handling family law cases that involve alcohol abuse. Please call (417) 708-9681 if you would like to schedule a free initial consultation.